Where'd You Go Bernadette? by Maria Semple

Bernadette Fox is notorious.

To Elgie Branch, a Microsoft wunderkind, she's his hilarious, volatile, talented, troubled wife.

To fellow mothers at the school gate, she's a menace.

To design experts, she's a revolutionary architect.

And to 15-year-old Bee, she is a best friend and, quite simply, mum.

Then Bernadette disappears. And Bee must take a trip to the end of the earth to find her.

For me, I have to be really in the mood for comedy for me to enjoy it. Arguably you could say that about any other genre but it’s particularly the case with humour. As a result, this novel has been started and restarted a number of times but I can now tell you I have finished it. I know you’ve been waiting for that piece of news and you feel SO great right now that you can read this review.

If someone asked me whether they would enjoy this novel, I would ask ‘Did you enjoy Paul Torday’s Salmon Fishing in the Yemen?' The book that is, not the film. If you were one of those people that absolutely hated that book DON’T PICK THIS UP.

What do I mean by that? Well it’s true that the plot couldn’t be more different. Where Yemen has a distinct lack of water, Seattle has its fair share, there’s no real romance in this – the main relationship you’re interested in is that between mother and daughter. Where'd You Go Bernadette? for me, however, had a very similar tone and sense of humour. Slightly wacky and off the wall while remaining brilliantly observant and it has that scrapbook quality where we gather the plot from a series of different perspectives and through a variety of different mediums – newspaper cuttings, emails, post-it notes, log books etc.

I did enjoy it and I would recommend it to people. If you don’t enjoy embracing the quirky (I made the mistake of recommending When God Was a Rabbit to a friend thinking it was a gentle tale only to be told how VERY WEIRD it was…), don't read this but if you fancy something a little different to break up your usual reading habits, do give it a go – I think you’ll appreciate it. I generally think that our favourite novels are rarely comedies because the ‘heart’ is so often sacrificed. I think that happens here too. It does all get a bit silly by the end and, as the Observer describes ‘[the book] is constructed from a collection of self-absorbed perspectives’, but the heart is there somewhere and if you were feeling particularly hormonal, you may even well up a bit at the bonds made and broken and the dreams surrendered… I wasn’t feeling emotional so that didn’t happen for me but it’s a laugh, easily above average and worth a read: 6.5/10.

Other reviews:
Salmon Fishing in the Yemen by Paul Torday

Virginia Woolf: Art, Life and Vision at the NPG

I’m always trying to find fun ‘cultural’ things to do, be it an exhibition, a gig or concert, some literary event etc. I do enjoy them and deep down somewhere I probably think that they are a necessary part of my self-improvement. They’re also great small-talk fillers. Problem is, that when summer hits, the requirements of small-talk often goes up as everyone becomes more sociable when the sun comes out, but the number of cultural conversation pieces goes down because I stop looking for cool things to do. The one drawback of actually having a British summer this year is that I’ve done almost nothing but sit outside, eat a lot and do a hell of a lot of people watching. So this weekend I decided to try to fill the void at least a little and headed off to see Boyhood (incidentally people watching for the cinema-goer) and went to the Virginia Woolf exhibition at The National Portrait Gallery (hoorah, I finally got to the subject of this post).

Love a bit of Virginia Woolf and I know that there is a Woody Allen sequel to Midnight in Paris (which will be aptly named Midnight in London) waiting for me to snatch the lead role from Owen Wilson so that I can hang out with the Bloomsbury set for 90 minutes. I mean seriously, these are the people that started up their own publishers and printed TS Eliot’s The Wasteland. The Woolfs got to hang out with Sigmund Freud, John Maynard Keynes, Lytton Strachey, Roger Fry, Vanessa Bell, EM Forster and Lady Ottoline Morrell. Can you imagine having so many and such an eclectic group of intellectual minds – writers, artists, economists, psychologists, poets.

Such life envy, with the exception of the whole going mad and killing yourself bit… not so great.

The exhibition is a must for anyone vaguely interested in this time period. It included photos of the Woolf’s home in Tavistock Square before and after the bombing that destroyed all but its end wall the mural Virginia’s sister, Vanessa Bell, designed for the couple.

Vanessa’s artwork was dotted about the exhibition and the front covers of early editions of Woolf’s work were on display, each designed by Vanessa Bell.

There were handwritten love letters (including one from Leonard Woolf to Virginia which did nothing for my futile belief that he would make a great husband… for me… I told you it was futile), personal photographs, extracts from Virginia’s family newsletter that she wrote with her brothers.

It is perhaps unsurprising that Virginia Woolf became, like so many, very interested in the Spanish Civil War but I didn’t know that she had been so heavily involved in an event at London’s Royal Albert Hall that was started to raise money for the Basque children. She was also a patron for the campaign to bring Picasso’s epic anti-war painting Guernica (1937) to Britain (the exhibition leaflet was included in the exhibition) and her nephew, Quentin Bell, apparently tried to get Picasso to come along himself. While he didn’t turn up, the exhibition included one of his drawings ‘The Weeping Woman’ which Picasso was said to have donated to the cause in lieu of his own attendance.

Anyway, I’ve written a ridiculously long post but there’s so much to see and learn. Even if you don’t really care about Viriginia Woolf, it’s a wonderfully detailed snapshot into a very interesting group of people at a pivotal moment in modern history. It’s only £7… You can even drop in at the BP Portrait Award for free at the same time.

Relevant Posts:

Virginia Woolf at Tavistock Square

Introducing… Virginia Woolf

Monk’s House

Charleston Bulletin (The Woolf family newsletter)

The London Short Story Festival

Where better to hold a literary festival than in Waterstones' flagship store on London's Piccadilly? Award-winning writers nestled in amongst the endless shelves of books and a sea of book-loving streaming in through the doors every hour. Solid effort from Spread the Word teaming up with Waterstones for the first ever London Short Story Festival.

With the sun blazing outside, though, some anxious cynicism seeped into my brain - was the lineup, fantastic as it is, likely to win against the blue skies and 25 degrees outside? Thanks to Spread the Word and the festival's Guest Director, writer and blogger, Paul McVeigh, lined up such a fantastic series of talks and workshops across the weekend that the turnout was not something we needed to be concerned about.

The festival kicked off on Friday evening with the launch of Salt Publishing's Best of British Short Stories 2014 followed by an evening with the winner of the Guardian's Fiction Prize, the impressive Jackie Kay who had the audience in the palm of her hand as she read, discussed and answered questions on her work.

Amidst the science-fiction novels and Manga on Waterstones' first floor was the festival's main space, which played host to an eclectic range of talks all weekend. The first of which got everything off to a weird and wonderful start with "The Weird and Wonderful World of Short Stories" with readings from Adam Marek, Dan Powell and Robert Shearman. Marek's first line made sure there wasn't any hanging around in the 'weird and wonderful' department: "I met a man with a 40 litre monkey..."

You can see just what went on by looking at the Festival Programme online HERE, which featured writer and journalist Anita Sethi, writer and editor Jacob Ross, writers Colin Barrett, Stuart Evers, MJ Hyland, Alex Preston, Radio4's Di Spears, Booker-shortlisted Alison Moore, the list goes on...

A big draw for the writers in the audience was the range of workshops on offer over the weekend, hosted by huge talents such as MJ Hyland, Vanessa Gebbie and Claire Keegan, whose book Foster was, from my experience, the talk of the festival!

Meanwhile, downstairs Spread the Word had set up a series of hands-on sessions in the Writers' Space.

If you didn't have tickets, you needn't have left the store's main atrium to have listened to some stunning examples of short stories at Speaker's Corner. I was very lucky in being able to introduce Davy Byrnes-shortlisted Irish writer, Danielle McLaughlin, Crossword Book Award Winner and author of Boat on Land, Janie Pariat, Edge Hill-shortlisted writer Jaki McCarrick and journalist and writer, Anita Sethi. All of which were fantastically evocative and entertaining. And I mustn't forget the powerful English Pen session which saw Femi Martin read some extraordinary extracts from creative writing written by prisoners - quite amazing.

I feel there is so much more to say as it was such a fun-packed event. Fingers crossed for round two next year so you can all come along for yourselves!

Writing in a Digital Age 2014: Day 2

Back at the Free Word Centre in Farringdon today for Round 2 of The Literary Consultancy's Writing in a Digital Age conference 2014. Today was, even more so than yesterday, all about the author - more specifically, the self-published author.

First up 'The Writer in the Machine' brought us a 'dynamic quartet' made up of Orna Ross, the founder of the Alliance of Independent Authors, and self-published writers Joanna Penn, Polly Courtney and Rachel Abbott. The first hour consisted of each panelist giving a talk about their own experiences, their own bylaws and their own take on the daunting task of marketing.

Joanna Penn's energetic (if not slightly manic) manifesto on exploiting the plethora of rights opportunities out there was certainly informative and her results hugely impressive but I felt left with a mild case of whiplash... In short, though, they all agreed you need a damn good cover, a great blurb, a strong strap-line and "know your reader". The discussion of the latter may have sounded a little stereotypical in places and potentially creepy taken out of context... hunt down your 40-something women on Mumsnet, capture your sci-fi readers as they browse techie websites and fan fiction forums - but essentially the message was that every book needs a primary readership to target and that you're doing it all wrong if you're just saying 'any gender, any age, any location'.

The second half was what I will call the Marmite session in that some people in the audience really loved it, others looked slightly bamboozled and on the verge of an attack of the giggles. Orna Ross led a practical session where all the writers got out their pens and pads (did not help me stay inconspicuous as the only non-writer in the room...) and scrawled down answers to questions like "why do I write" and "who do I write for".

As engaging as it was, after a two-hour long session lunch was a welcome break.

Last year it was Tina Seskis, this year it was Piers Alexander - winner of last year's Pen Factor award and the latest TLC self-published success story with his historical novel, The Bitter Trade. This guy should be an agent - it was the greatest pitch of the weekend and saw him sell a healthy number of signed copies of his book and likely double the size of his book launch by sort of accidentally inviting the entire conference... charming, talented and go-getting, just what you want from an author!

This post is getting quite long... so I'm going to stop rambling quite so much... other highlights included a star-studded panel chaired by Paul Blezard (who has a voice to rival Michael Gambon and Anthony Hopkins in my opinion), which saw 'book-blogging's First Lady' Dovegreyreader, the Telegraph's Sam Leith, and founder of ReadySteadyBook and Quercus's Mark Thwaite discuss the art and future of the book review.

We also got to hear who had won TLC's Kobo Writing Life sponsored Pen Factor Award 2014. The prize went to a very shocked Guinevere Glasfurd-Brown - such a lovely moment seeing her collect it from Kobo's Diego Marano. Judging by Piers's success, great things are sure to follow for her - I do hope so, having myself had a read of the sample material she submitted.

Another great day at the conference. Final day tomorrow!

The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry - Rachel Joyce

When Harold Fry nips out one morning to post a letter, leaving his wife hoovering upstairs, he has no idea that he is about to walk from one end of the country to the other. He has no hiking boots or map, let alone a compass, waterproof or mobile phone. All he knows is that he must keep walking. To save someone else's life.

'The odyssey of a simple man, original, subtle and touching'. - Claire Tomalin

'From the moment I met Harold Fry, I didn't want to leave him. Impossible to put down.' - Erica Wagner, The Times

As a reader, great quotes from respected sources are much appreciated. As a reviewer, they make things difficult. Ultimately, I'm struggling here to describe this book in a better way than Claire Tomalin. She even stole my name. Or arguably she had it first, but whatever.

The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry by Rachel Joyce is one of those books that has sat on my proverbial shelf for a long time but, as so often happens with me, everyone keeps saying 'you must read this' and so I don't read it for fear of it not living up my consequently heightened expectations. Foolish, it turns out in this case, as it was honestly brilliant.

It's really rare that I find a book deeply touching but there's something about old people isn't there? About lives lived (or not, as the case may be)? I don't mean that in a patronising way, I'm always oddly envious of people who have experienced life, whatever route it took, and have something to talk about rather than having to hype up for themselves what they might do.

The Frys, though, aren't talking. Rachel Joyce gets across the rural and domestic silence so well. Somehow she combines the lonely sadness of it all with the enlightening, refreshing feeling when you read about people whose lives are not over-complicated. With that said, though, (and I realise I keep making one point then backtracking and saying the book did something else entirely...), this book reminded me of how everyone's lives are more complicated than they seem. A classic 'what goes on behind closed doors' tale, and not just in the case of the Frys, but also all the people who Harold meets along the way. The little secrets and lies we tell ourselves that we think will make everything that bit easier.

Underpinning the whole narrative, of course, though, is the main premise. The is something wonderfully bizarre about the whole concept of a man who goes out to post a letter one day and just keeps on walking, and that light, quirky, humorous side is something that carries on throughout the novel and brings it all together - a classic British read where subtle humour and sadness come hand in hand.

If you have any heart at all, you will love this book, and you'll probably feel a little weepy...

9/10

Animals - Emma Jane Unsworth

Laura and Tyler are best friends who live together, angrily philosophising and leading each other astray in the pubs and flats of Manchester. But things are set to change. Laura is engaged to teetotal Jim, the wedding is just months away, and Tyler becomes hell-bent on sabotaging her friend's plans for a different life.

Animals is a hilarious, moving and refreshingly honest tale of how a friendship can become the ultimate love story.

Don't ask me why, but this isn't the kind of book I would normally read. But as with so many novels that I've loved over the years, I originally approached them tentatively with a sprinkling of cynicism.

The book description sums it up as "A filthy, funny story of friendship, love and the morning after the night before". That strapline puts it so brilliantly that really there is no point in my giving you this review but I'm going to anyway, obvs.

So yeah, I really loved this book! I'm sure a lot of women who pick this up will think 'oh my god, this is me' as Emma Jane Unsworth recounts the drunken escapades of Laura and Tyler. But for me it wasn't like that. Sure I've had eventful nights out, but I'm quite frankly a wuss and like to be in bed at a reasonable hour on as many nights of the week as I can manage. Saying that, I got completely absorbed in this. It's hilarious for starters, had be genuinely laughing out loud which is rare for me when I'm reading. Hate to think what my reading face is... perhaps a little dull an experiment for series 2 of Gogglebox...

Anyway, I digress again. The book's funny, really funny. There's the occasional moment where the comedy is a tiny bit self-conscious but who cares.

The story is also very real. Who hasn't had a time in their lives when you feel like you're being pulled in two different directions and you're desperately trying to stay loyal to both but ultimately jeopardise both? Laura is exactly in that play, stranded between wanting the security of growing up and getting married to a sensible man and still wanting to have irresponsible drunken nights on the town with her addictively crazy sister from another mister, Tyler. Both simultaneously so very appealing, and so very grim.

Consequently, you kind of want to give Laura a slap and a hug at the same time but whatever you choose, Unsworth's created a character that you just kind of 'get' and can't help but feel sorry for when things start crumbling around her.

8/10

Book Slam: Emma Jane Unsworth, Ned Beauman, Elvis McGonnagall

Tonight was Book Slam night. For those of you unacquainted with the brilliance that is Book Slam, it basically involves a group of reasonably like-minded liberal book-loving intellectuals gathering for one night in the delightful and oh-so-classy Clapham Grand (on this occasion) for “London’s Best Literary Club Night”.

The evening started off well. Very well. You all know me well enough by now to know that that means there was food on offer. Flame-grilled barbecue steak or ribs, only without the flame-grill part because, you know, it was inside... so each steak was served with a portion of ‘this would normally taste better if they’d let us use our blowtorch’. Unflamed but still delicious. And what is better than food? FREE food. And what’s better than free food? Free DOUGHNUTS.

Anyway, books. Great line-up tonight and for the first time I’ve actually read one of the books. Emma Jane Unsworth read from her new novel, Animals. As kindly summed up on the front, it’s basically Withnail and I but with women. It’s an hilarious read, but also very touching and, at times, hugely frustrating. Unsworth’s protagonist is desperately trying to navigate her way through her late twenties, on the one hand trying to settle down with her very sensible and stable tee-total fiancé, while still being drawn in by the addictive madness of best friend, Tyler, who is still very much into all-night benders and one night stands. Loved. It. Will review shortly.

Generally I’m not in to poetry. Occasionally I like to romanticise about sitting down by a peaceful canal on a sunny day with a pretentiously named ale in hand and reading TS Eliot, but mostly poetry just makes me recall studying poetry at school and how rubbish I was at it. However, if you want to bring in a tartan-wearing Scot reciting his hilarious satirical verses, then I’m all ears. We got to meet Nigel Fromage and hear what the queen really wants to say in her Christmas speech. Good fun. Thanks Elvis McGonnagall.

The finale was Ned Beauman reading from his new novel, Glow. He began by explaining how he had become aware of his portrayal in the media as being very pretentious and that a journalist had recently contributed by wrongly declaring he had been wearing all black (classic sign of pretentiousness apparently) during the interview, when he hadn’t and the accompanying photo of him proved said fact. Sadly, rather than making me warm to him, it just sort of made me a little more certain that he probably is a little pretentious, judging (perhaps unfairly) by his attire and fashionable beard (which I still don’t get, by the way). I don’t mind him being pretentious, hell we’ve all paid to go listen to authors read from their literary novels while we gorge on pop-up bbq deliciousness. I’d just rather he’d embraced it all, rather than slam dunk the journo. Yeah, wasn’t keen. Sorry Ned.

All of this was brilliantly brought together in the middle by music from the brilliantly weird, Benin City. Downloading their stuff legally right now.

Thanks Bookslam. Top evening, great doughnuts.